I probably see as much of the ugly side of humanity in the place I work in ministry as most pastors, but I’m generally pretty optimistic. But there is one thing that will absolutely ruin my day: listening to Christians fight about homosexuality. It sickens me. It twists my stomach.
I get it. Everyone has an opinion that they form based on how they read scripture and what they’ve experienced in life (don’t pretend like your perspective is immune from those two things). I’m not even opposed to hearing from people I disagree with.
What kills me is the tone.
Even many of the pastors I know – the ones who are supposed to be emotionally mature and spiritually grounded – can’t have a conversation about it without devolving into name-calling, exegesis-shaming, accusations, fear-mongering, assumptions and holier than thou statements.
So without trying to defend a side or say one is worse than the other, can we all just pretend, for just a moment, that there might be a future Church and that maybe, just maybe, we should watch what we say and how we say it for their sake.
And I’ve got a vested interest in this; I plan on pastoring for a few more years. I also have a lot of Christian and non-Christian friends, and the writing is on the wall, folks, for what popular opinion will be inside and outside the church on this issue in 30 years. And the people who will (hopefully) be a part of the Church at that time – whether you agree with them or not – deserve to not have their spiritual forefathers chase the few of them that are left out of the Church like little kids who were caught sipping communion wine. The Boomer/Millennial Church handoff has already dropped so many batons – let’s try our darnedest not knock the rest to the ground.
So, a couple quick requests of you, on behalf of the Church of 2046:
- Don’t Paint Sexuality as a Simple Issue: It’s not. Please stop. Sincerely, the Bible and RHE (Real Humans Everywhere).
- Stop Acting Like the Sky Is Falling: If I had a dollar for every person who told me that decisions about this issue were going to be the end of a particular denomination or just legitimate Christianity in general, I’d be wealthy. It’s sort of a fear-mongering insult to those of us who are carrying the mantle forward when you think about it.
- Let’s Start Trusting that God Can Work Through Christians and Churches on Both Sides of the Issue: I think that one’s pretty self-explanatory. This isn’t one of those can-God-make-a-rock-so-big questions. He’s God – let Him do His thing.
- Recognize that Millennials and the LGBTQ Community Will Hear Things Differently Than You Think They Will: And please don’t say it’s the listener’s job to sort that out.
I’m not saying don’t interpret scripture. I’m not saying don’t exegete creation and culture. I’m not saying don’t study the topic and discuss pastoral care. I’m not even saying don’t take a position.
All I’m saying is that, to those who have to discuss this topic on behalf of the broader Church, can you please watch what you say and how you say it? Let us lay down our fear, our self-righteousness, our need to be heard and our need to be right for a population that also matters – the future Church.
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